it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
