I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
