I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
