were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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