I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
