Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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