i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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