Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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