I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
