just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
