It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
