i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
