i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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