I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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