moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
