he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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