drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
