He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
