It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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