I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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