I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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