Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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