I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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