i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
