Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
