you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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