oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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