No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
