My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
