Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
