I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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