so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
