There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
