You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
