Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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