Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
