Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
