Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
