Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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