return my video game
actually, I'm a sock model
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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