if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
