And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
