he shaved USA in his pubs
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
