so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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