So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
