So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
