No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
