I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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