Got a toothbrush?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
