last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
