Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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