ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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