no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
