You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
